Today i woke up juz as usual, about 9.30. Cause got tuition.
N i'm really exhausted when i'm on my way to tuition.
In juz a few minutes, i had thinking a lot of things that happen recently...
Yesterday, i msn a fellow, which i'm not so covenience to tell u all who is it...
I know that she was sick last few days. I heard that she had vomit n had a bad day...
But when she is suffering, i don't know wad to do... N when i try to care about her, she juz refuse to my help..
Maybe i'm wrong... I'm a disturbance for her.. Or i'm juz worse than being a friends for her. But, why, why should this happens to me?? i had though for it again n again... repeat to think of it again n again, but at last, i didn't get the answer...
Maybe, this is because of that incident which happen in the past 1 month?
This had made our relationship broken down... I mean totally break down...
Somehow, i manage to cope with it but it's still a mystery for me what will happen next...
N lastly, these things had end up with a sad ending.. Everything has an end of it, it depends, some of us may had a delightful ending, but some will has a horrible ending...
It's juz the ways u cope wih the problem... N how is ur feeling when u know something is happening to urself. Maybe u all is quite confusing about this but let me clarify it...
Yesterday, i'm thinking to invite her out to jonker walk...
So, i decided to invite her by sending the ivitation through facebook mail...
But when i open my msn, i realise she had online... Therefore, i chat with her n realise a big secret.. I means the secret is quite big for me only ok...
The secret is certaintly unacceptable for me at that moment, but it is the truth, nothing can change it, n if i really want to change it, it is nearly impossible...
The secret is she already had a boyfriend n she is going out with him tonight
I really cannot accept the truth. Firstly, i m thinking she was kidding...
But, soonly, i realise that this is not funny at all...
I became more n more impatien n thinking of it again n again...
Finally, i decided not to disturb her for a moment because i need time to accept this...
But i think this will last forever as i know that it is hard to continue eventough to continue as a friend... I shut down my pc, hopelessly, n try to realease my stress with all sort of ways...
This afternoon i went for gym with my working friends... N i think that it was the best time to release stress.
I'm the first one to reach there. After that, they arrived one by one n we go up the gym n paid the entrance fee... There is a indian guys there which can be consider as coach. He asked us, all of u come to gym first time a? We watch at each others, n juz nodded.
So, he force us to cycle for 15 minutes with our fastest speed.
After this, he tured on the screw so that the gear is tight n harder to cycle. For girls, he juz turn 1 round but for me, he turned 3 times man... that means i need to cycle harder than them 3 more times man...
After this, he made us do the climbing excersise, but the machine i used is different for them, but that's ok la... I juz climed 30 floors in 5 minutes n the machine keep on remind me that i'm steping too hard... hehe...
After this, the coach tell us how to use all the machine in the gym n i become the white mice to demonstrate how to use it... Some of the machine is quite smelly man!!! haha.
After showing how to operate all the machine (there is about 20 different machine), we are free to walk around n try... I want to concentrate on my big belly, so i decided to try the machine which can keep my belly fit. The machine which use to trained our stomach muscle there is from 17 to 20. Therefore, i keep on repeatin on those machine again n again... Until i feel exhausted... I juz try the machine for my hands n legs. or in scientific terms, biceps n triceps.
Maybe I’m thinking of ways to release my stress y doing this… But after trying all those machine, I think that it’s not enough for me. Out of the blue, I saw the sand bag which shine brightly in front of my eyes… Without hesitation, I rush through it n punch it with all my strength I left. I keep on punching n punching n my mind is still keep on thinking of all the incident between me her……
Until my friends come n stop me… At that time, I saw my hand is bleeding n not too serious la, I think that if they never stop me from keep on hurting myself, I would seriously hurt… After watching my hand, I continue to cycle beside the mirror, I can feel the wind breeze sweeping on my face n I feel that it’s refreshing. Therefore, I stop cycling n walk towards the windows. I watch down the building n see the vehicles passing through the building one by one… Once again, I’m thinking to kill myself… Y should I do that, nicely my mind is still clear never do that, why should I die juz because of these small incident??? I’m thinking of it… I think I should made this as a lesson for me for not too childish next time… I shall look before I leapt…
After this, I shared my sad experience with the ladies, they are quite nice n listen to my experience carefully… They said that I am too aggressive n I need to slow down my pace. But I think that it’s too late. But they tell me that anything u want to do won’t be late, it’s depend on ur determination and courage u had… I think that they are quite right but I ‘m really too frustrated to continue, I’m really tired with this man. They also advice me that there’s a lot of trees n flowers when I’m in university. All of them had their boy friends ady n they share their experience with me, I had learned a lot… But their experience I shall keep secret la… lol
We dismissed at about 7.15p.m. They are going to jonker walk after this n they asked me whether I want to join… But I have no mood, really no mood that time n refuse their invitation.
That night I can’t really sleep cause I really cannot accept the truth yet, I’m thinking of a lot of reason, and thinking that she would cheat me… But I now that it’s not possible to be the truth…
Finally, I’m back to sense n go into the tuition centre… Haha, I guess some of you all had left out because maybe really thinking too much already… When I go into the tuition centre, I’m seeking for my final confirmation with a person, which is her best friends… N when I know that that’s the truth, my heart really drop to the bottom of my heart, he said that she also don’t know that she had bf until yesterday night she juz realise.
I go into the class hopelessly, thinking of it again n again, did I do anything wrong, maybe… My mind is juz totally blank for 2 hours in the tuition n only at the last 30 minutes, I came back to sense n continue with the lessons, but I’m still got a little bit blur la… HAIZ………..
Y the god want to treat me like this!!!!!
Someone please help me…
N i'm really exhausted when i'm on my way to tuition.
In juz a few minutes, i had thinking a lot of things that happen recently...
Yesterday, i msn a fellow, which i'm not so covenience to tell u all who is it...
I know that she was sick last few days. I heard that she had vomit n had a bad day...
But when she is suffering, i don't know wad to do... N when i try to care about her, she juz refuse to my help..
Maybe i'm wrong... I'm a disturbance for her.. Or i'm juz worse than being a friends for her. But, why, why should this happens to me?? i had though for it again n again... repeat to think of it again n again, but at last, i didn't get the answer...
Maybe, this is because of that incident which happen in the past 1 month?
This had made our relationship broken down... I mean totally break down...
Somehow, i manage to cope with it but it's still a mystery for me what will happen next...
N lastly, these things had end up with a sad ending.. Everything has an end of it, it depends, some of us may had a delightful ending, but some will has a horrible ending...
It's juz the ways u cope wih the problem... N how is ur feeling when u know something is happening to urself. Maybe u all is quite confusing about this but let me clarify it...
Yesterday, i'm thinking to invite her out to jonker walk...
So, i decided to invite her by sending the ivitation through facebook mail...
But when i open my msn, i realise she had online... Therefore, i chat with her n realise a big secret.. I means the secret is quite big for me only ok...
The secret is certaintly unacceptable for me at that moment, but it is the truth, nothing can change it, n if i really want to change it, it is nearly impossible...
The secret is she already had a boyfriend n she is going out with him tonight
I really cannot accept the truth. Firstly, i m thinking she was kidding...
But, soonly, i realise that this is not funny at all...
I became more n more impatien n thinking of it again n again...
Finally, i decided not to disturb her for a moment because i need time to accept this...
But i think this will last forever as i know that it is hard to continue eventough to continue as a friend... I shut down my pc, hopelessly, n try to realease my stress with all sort of ways...
This afternoon i went for gym with my working friends... N i think that it was the best time to release stress.
I'm the first one to reach there. After that, they arrived one by one n we go up the gym n paid the entrance fee... There is a indian guys there which can be consider as coach. He asked us, all of u come to gym first time a? We watch at each others, n juz nodded.
So, he force us to cycle for 15 minutes with our fastest speed.
After this, he tured on the screw so that the gear is tight n harder to cycle. For girls, he juz turn 1 round but for me, he turned 3 times man... that means i need to cycle harder than them 3 more times man...
After this, he made us do the climbing excersise, but the machine i used is different for them, but that's ok la... I juz climed 30 floors in 5 minutes n the machine keep on remind me that i'm steping too hard... hehe...
After this, the coach tell us how to use all the machine in the gym n i become the white mice to demonstrate how to use it... Some of the machine is quite smelly man!!! haha.
After showing how to operate all the machine (there is about 20 different machine), we are free to walk around n try... I want to concentrate on my big belly, so i decided to try the machine which can keep my belly fit. The machine which use to trained our stomach muscle there is from 17 to 20. Therefore, i keep on repeatin on those machine again n again... Until i feel exhausted... I juz try the machine for my hands n legs. or in scientific terms, biceps n triceps.
Maybe I’m thinking of ways to release my stress y doing this… But after trying all those machine, I think that it’s not enough for me. Out of the blue, I saw the sand bag which shine brightly in front of my eyes… Without hesitation, I rush through it n punch it with all my strength I left. I keep on punching n punching n my mind is still keep on thinking of all the incident between me her……
Until my friends come n stop me… At that time, I saw my hand is bleeding n not too serious la, I think that if they never stop me from keep on hurting myself, I would seriously hurt… After watching my hand, I continue to cycle beside the mirror, I can feel the wind breeze sweeping on my face n I feel that it’s refreshing. Therefore, I stop cycling n walk towards the windows. I watch down the building n see the vehicles passing through the building one by one… Once again, I’m thinking to kill myself… Y should I do that, nicely my mind is still clear never do that, why should I die juz because of these small incident??? I’m thinking of it… I think I should made this as a lesson for me for not too childish next time… I shall look before I leapt…
After this, I shared my sad experience with the ladies, they are quite nice n listen to my experience carefully… They said that I am too aggressive n I need to slow down my pace. But I think that it’s too late. But they tell me that anything u want to do won’t be late, it’s depend on ur determination and courage u had… I think that they are quite right but I ‘m really too frustrated to continue, I’m really tired with this man. They also advice me that there’s a lot of trees n flowers when I’m in university. All of them had their boy friends ady n they share their experience with me, I had learned a lot… But their experience I shall keep secret la… lol
We dismissed at about 7.15p.m. They are going to jonker walk after this n they asked me whether I want to join… But I have no mood, really no mood that time n refuse their invitation.
That night I can’t really sleep cause I really cannot accept the truth yet, I’m thinking of a lot of reason, and thinking that she would cheat me… But I now that it’s not possible to be the truth…
Finally, I’m back to sense n go into the tuition centre… Haha, I guess some of you all had left out because maybe really thinking too much already… When I go into the tuition centre, I’m seeking for my final confirmation with a person, which is her best friends… N when I know that that’s the truth, my heart really drop to the bottom of my heart, he said that she also don’t know that she had bf until yesterday night she juz realise.
I go into the class hopelessly, thinking of it again n again, did I do anything wrong, maybe… My mind is juz totally blank for 2 hours in the tuition n only at the last 30 minutes, I came back to sense n continue with the lessons, but I’m still got a little bit blur la… HAIZ………..
Y the god want to treat me like this!!!!!
Someone please help me…
Some of the picture in the gym is publish above.... Quite messy la... hehe, i don't know how to arrange le...
不要再不开心，如果你心里已经有了决定，就跟着自己的决定吧！我们brother永远都会支持你的，不要愁眉莫展，因为你不知道谁会爱上你的笑容。。。。。
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